A Wedding Palace

The second week we were here, we were invited to attend a wedding, Baku-style. Here am I with a Vice-Rector from the Azerbaijan University of Languages, Jala Garibova, who kindly asked us to come with her. Note the numerous bottles of spirits (we drank juice) and plates of fruit/veggies/bread/other dishes.

These days for weddings folks in the city rent giant "wedding palaces" and throw a phenomenal party with a band so loud you can't talk (or, at least, you can't hear) and more food over several hours than anyone can eat. The nicest part, according to Marlys, was that we didn't have to sit through a long ceremony. There are brief rituals interspersed throughout the evening--a traditional dancer bringing a ring to the bride, waitstaff bringing in the national dish all aflame (a pastry covered rice and meat thing--I didn't eat the meat, but the rice and veggies were lovely), and of course numerous family members and groups of friends making small speeches and toasts interleaved with music--but this was largely just a very big, loud, energetic party. I commented on what this must cost and was told that because the custom is to give the couple and family money for their wedding, it generally equals out.

Here is the live band and singer. They played everything from covers of popular songs (one sounded a LOT like beach boys' barbra-ann, but was "Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Maria") to ethnic minority traditional song/dances (Lezghian). Music here is where the cultural continuity seems very strong--most of the poetry that still lives in everyday life seems to be through song and oral tradition. More on the strange world of Azerbaijani literacy another blog...

Note above their heads the video screen. There were several of these spaced around the hall, with a camera person constantly taping different parts of the wedding party (dancers, eaters, bride and groom, rituals) so that everyone in this huge hall of hundreds of folks could see up close the very party they were part of. So it was kind of like American Bandstand when the dancing started in earnest...



This is me making some attempt at the graceful arm and hand movements in Azerbaijani dancing. I was told I did well "for my first time." Mother of the bride in the gold dress is at right. Jala wasn't dancing because she was within a year of a death in the family and so the mother of the bride was kind enough to take us strangers onto the dance floor. Women danced with women, women danced with men, men danced with men. The dancing scene was as fluid as at a Greatful Dead concert, with folks moving on and off the floor and turning one to another at different times.

The men here like to dance and are good at it. There was one song that mostly men danced to with great foot stomping, building up to arms around each other's shoulders fast circle dancing. I was told the song was an old oil workers song and that's why mostly men danced to it. Footwork, like the women's hands and arms during dancing, was intricate and subtle. There was plenty of booty shaking from some men as well.

In general, same-sex friends are quite physically demonstrative and caring of each other with handholding and cheek kissing the norm for both men and women. Romantic couples, however, do not get physical in public with the exception of occasional handholding, or leaning on each other bench sitting down by the sea. And heterosexuality is very much the assumed norm, though a law was passed some years back explicitly making homosexuality NOT a crime. There is a certain general tolerance for others here that reminds me of Thailand. It seems very important to fit in, and one is aware of fairly conservative norms of behavior (and dress when in the countryside--shoulders and knees covered for both men and women) but on the surface diversions from the norm seem to be tolerated and are curiosities mostly. I'm sure I only see that surface right now though.

In the picture of Marlys and I dancing, notice the sparkly confetti on the floor? Every 30 minutes or so, a guy would wheel out a confetti "canon" made of what looked like big black PVC pipe, and fire it over the dancers--then wheel it back out of the way. I've never seen anything like it.

Also periodically, the bride and groom would return to their "throne" seats on the dais to let people takes pictures with them. Unfortunately, the pictures of us with them didn't download properly to this computer--so here's some other folks with the bride and groom. Next--I promise I will get Marlys on tomorrow here to describe the exciting fire we had across the street a couple weeks ago.-Alison